F.O.B. #18- What's in your Kitchen?

In honor of my dear friend, Miz Knotty, I ask you- What's in your kitchen? She has Counter-Concern and no matter how often I assure her of the horrors that are my kitchen, she worries. SO, I ask you, Can you find eighteen items that don't belong in your kitchen? Or if the kitchen's not your thing, your bedroom, backpack, handbag, closet, car- wherever all your cluttter lives. Our clutter is throughout the house, but seems to congregate mostly in the kitchen (we like to live out loud). If you cast your eye around our cooking/eating area you would see:

18. A pair of women's Doc Martens

17. A vaccum cleaner

16. Wedding rings. I can't cook with them on, so that's where they go. At least once a week, right before I fall asleep, I sit straight up and gasp, "Where are my rings?" And The Hubba, and oddly he can be anywhere in the house and still hear this question, will reply, "On the counter, of course." Of course.

15. Digital camera and more wires than you would ever find things to attach them to in your entire life. Just one big messy pile of wires, some that connect to electronic equipment and the rest to oversee the connecting of the electrionic equipment. We must assume that's their purpose.

14. One drill. Lord knows why, The Hubba isn't what you'd call handy- I actually had a Home Depot delivery man ask me that once: "Is your man handy?" I wanted to say "well, he's got two of them, if that's what you mean," but didn't, of course, because I am Southern and polite.

13. Two laptops- one functioning and useful, the other not so much.

12. One woman's rain coat

11. One toy frog

10. Dog hair. Hence the vaccum. I wish I could tell you the fur doesn't move through the air and eventually settle on chairs, tables, and counters, leading to my compulsive use of 409. I really wish I could tell you that.

9. Man's tie

8. Woman's shirt (Perhaps these two shouldn't have been listed so near each other. Before you get the wrong idea, the woman's shirt never made the trip all the way from the laundry room to my upstairs closet- I don't remember why. The tie- well, The Hubba is a "stay where it lay" kind of un-dresser so clothes tend to hang about the whole house until he comes stomping downstairs, demanding "have you seen my DMB shirt?" only to discover it hanging over a kitchen stool or draped across a knitting bag. By the way, The Hubba voted I leave this to your imagination, but my father reads this blog for God's sake.)

7. Speaking of, a knitting bag.

6. Stacks of DVDs. One day these will either go on eBay or back into our entertainment center. Depends if they break my spirit leering up at me from our dining room table before I actually sit down and put them up for sale.

5. Nearly half-finished Harry Potter scarf.

4. Emory board, still in it's original box.

3. Magazine, one Rolling Stone that will probably sit out until one of us notices it, around the time the next Rolling Stone arrives, and throws it out. We have no idea why we get it, but it's addressed to The Hubba and arrives promptly every Wednesday. Also one Glamour, which will end up either in our overflowing magazine basket or under my bedside table, covered in fur.

2. One pair of women's sandals. Yes, it's December. No, I can't explain it.

1. And the number one unexplained item in our kitchen is (does this have that David Letterman feel?)- Yarn! That's right, a bag of yarn from Bella Filati still sits on the table, along with some random, half-used skeins of dishcloth cotton and a bag with some finished dishcloths.

So just put that on your kitchen counter and than cover it up with a bunch of junk mail.